Nothing to do but trust. Laugh. Trust some more.
Because the kitchen floor is really caving in. But, let’s back up.
Travis and I have a pretty good process worked out right now. I research like crazy and try to bring him the summary of what I find. Then he hears the pros and cons of our next steps and gives me the nod, asks questions or sends me back to my research. So, the other night Travis gave me the nod to finalize an adoption agency this week and send in our application. That means: Take step one!
For the record, no, the Carpenters have not fallen into a large sum of random money (but yes, we will most definitely take a large sum of money if anyone knows of one lying around somewhere…). But, we knew early on that this is gonna be faith and some elbow grease on our part. A lot of creativity and humility and a lot of patience in the area of finances.
But, in case, we were getting any bit proud of feeling extremely capable without Jehovah-Jirah, we’ve had a great chance to continually trust Him. Let’s recount the last few days at the beginning of our adoption journey:
Last Wednesday, I noticed that the floor by our back door was caving in. Yep, I said caving in. Stepped on the vinyl and it was soft. After Mr. Bill (or Pastor Bill as Austin calls him) spent some time under the house, we found out there are a couple places of water damage. Not t0o extensive; but no way to fix it except for a new kitchen floor and a lot of work. Never mind the fact that we also think the roof might be leaking into the wall into the laundry room and into the garage and into the floor via the wall that attaches to Justus’ room.
Phew…Okay….Not panicking. No big deal. Minor set back.
Moving on to Friday, I noticed that the A/C unit was not really working. Awesome. In the summer, I have to reset the thermostat more often to restart the A/C; but after about 18 hours of the A/C not kicking back on. Good thing we have a warranty; but super annoying to drop another fee on this.
Again, no worries, right? This is not as big of deal as the floor, and let’s just get a tab going. Man, in these moments, I truly wish for a half second that we believed in credit card debt or even had a credit card. I’m kidding.
Fast forward to Monday, Travis had to see a specialist, ENT, for his ongoing sinus issues. How many of you know that when you are clearing your throat all the time on a sales call, that isn’t good? Nope, so, Travis dutifully went to the ENT who performed a necessary and revealing CT. Nothing major; but he’s got some issues going.
Okay, swallow. Breath. How much was the bill? We have a High Deductible Health Plan, right? Did you tell them that we are basically cash pay customers? Let’s back up and say that for the record, this appointment is way over due and apparently his scan made the doctor ask if he could keep the charts as an example to others of how your sinuses should never look.
So, this evening, Trav wanders in as I am unloading groceries with an odd smile on his face. Taking notice that my mom is still here, he realizes this is a great time to share some other news. He slowly divulges that he and a friendly law enforcement officer had to have a little chat today involving some blue lights and the speed at which his car was traveling. For the record, my husband is a wise man because he knew I’d try to be all proper and sweet in my response with my Momma in the house! Wise man, I tell you!
So, for anyone all that financial chatter is stressful. It doesn’t feel like great timing to us. Anyone keeping a tab here?
To date, the process for trusting God for the finances is the biggest step of faith we’ve been called to. I almost feel like we are supposed to worry because it seems proud to just step out and say that the money will come at the right time. I feel crazy not panicking or freaking out. I feel like I’m naive. That’s just the truth.
For some reason, we just keep looking at each other, taking deep breaths and carrying on. I don’t know who we are right now. Truly, I feel like everyone else who hopes for the peace that surpasses all understanding, and then when it comes, we’re shocked it’s actually here.
I just keep shrugging and thinking, God is good. He’s got this! God is repeatedly reminding us that nothing about our lives is about us or our timing…or my planning..or my research skills. And, y’all know I do have some mad research and planning skills.
Then, the Lord reminded me: “It is not proud to say that you believe God will provide more than you can ask or imagine. This is about me anyhow! I’m God! I’ve got this under control!”
I don’t think God always calls us to things that make sense to everyone around us. We already know not everyone is going to understand why we are moving in this direction or how in the world we will afford the upfront financial cost. We’ve already faced some opposition in other areas, too and we believe we’ll face some more eventually, too.
Life doesn’t always have to be hard; but truthfully, a lot of time it ain’t easy! There is a cost to taking up our Cross. Sure, we are swallowing hard and making crazy expressions at each other. But, I’ve been encouraged with this verse in the last few days by two of my sweet girl friends and I’m clinging to it and claiming it.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
We are so grateful to God for who He is in our lives.
He’s got this. Rocky start to the first steps or not. We are trusting.
” God delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him in the process he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they never could have mustered or imagined.” -David Platt, Radical