I am afraid that I might forget some of the absolutely hysterical things that Austin has said about the adoption.
So, this is just a post to freeze those memories into time. I really hope that if anyone stumbles upon this blog that you will realized we are working on teaching him what adoption is really about (And even the theology of our adoption as heirs of God and what it means to take care of the fatherless…okay, got it? I’ll get off my soap box..) But, these comments are just a really big part of our family’s conversation and life right now. Since we had Justus, he has decided that he wants a sister too. His reasoning: “Well, I have a baby brother and now I need a baby sister!”
Tonight, we explained to him that he’s going to stay with my parents for two nights while we go to an adoption conference a few hours away. I was half expecting him to start hugging me and saying he didn’t want us to leave him.
He started jumping up and down. Oh, he thinks he’s going to get away with something and get treats at Grandma & Grandpa’s house.
He’s clapping. He’s jumping. He’s wiggling all over with every inch of his four year old body: “YOU. ARE. GOING. to an ADOPTION.CONFERENCE?!!!!”
“MOM!” He stopped and stared at me. “Bring me home a 4 year old sister, okay!? Yah! I’m getting a 4 year old sister!”
“Well, buddy, it doesn’t quite work like that…”
Date Night, Baby
I didn’t realize that Austin had overheard us talking about free child care for Mission: Date Night in a few months at our church.
That night, I was tucking him in bed and walking out the door.
“Mom, have fun on your date..”
I cracked the door back open and looked at him: “What date? We are not leaving tonight.”
“The one you are talking about. Maybe it’s the one where you go on a date to get a baby out of your belly and bring home a sister…”
Okay, so we are back to thinking the baby is still coming from my belly.
We were looking at a Waiting Child photo a few weeks ago, and Austin looked at us and said in a ultra serious tone: “Mom…Mom, this little girl doesn’t have a mom and dad?”
“No, buddy, she doesn’t.” He looked a bit confused.
Then he looked at me and at her: “Well, if we have a Mom and Dad and she doesn’t….” I could tell he was really thinking through this.
“And if we don’t have a little girl.. or a sister..” He pauses a bit longer: “Then why don’t we just go get her to be our baby sister? ”
Adopting Abigail Walters
A few weeks later, he tried to adopt Abigail Walters, our friend’s six year old.
I think he may have his first crush on an older woman. But, that combination carried into figuring out the adoption. He was trying to figure out how we might have another baby that doesn’t come from my tummy, he said: “Well, I wish Abigail was in our family. I wish she had come from your tummy. I wish she was in our family. But, she didn’t. So, we can adopt her. She’s six. I want a six year old.”
Naming the Baby
Then a few weeks later as we were talking before his bed time, he said: “Mom, when we adopt my sister, I want to call her Abigail.”
“Wow, that’s a beautiful name and—-”
He cut me off “And I want her middle name to be Grace.”
“Wow, honey, that’s great. You know I love the name Grace, Austin…What made you think of that name?”
Shrugging “I don’t know. I just like it.”
“Really? No particular reason? ”
“No, I just like it…”
After I put him down, I scurried for my phone to send a text message to our friend Katie. “Um, what’s Abigail’s middle name?”
Katie: “Grace. Why?”
“Just checking, Austin is trying to adopt Abigail again.”
We have a jar on the counter, that we are collecting change for the Adoption Fund. Since Austin loves to spend his own money and buy things and talk about what he wants from Santa and for his birthday and Christmas all the time. And yes, I mean, all.the.time., we’ve started working on teaching him about saving and generosity, etc. So, we thought the visual of the fund would be good for all of us. We also are encouraging him to put money in the fund if he finds change on the night stand or bedside table. So, if he randomly asks you for money, I apologize in advance. He was obsessive over the Hope Epidemic bottle, too.
Anyhow, my mom told me that he found some quarters and was extremely excited to put the money in the fund with her:
“Grandma! Quick! Let’s put the money in the adoption fund so we can buy a baby sister!”
Again, we’ve got a lot of work to do on how he comprehends the adoption. But, so far, we love his enthusiasm!
Disclaimer: We really don’t want him to every carry over a “buy a baby” concept at all; but truly he thought we were going to get Baby Justus at Target or Walmart or pick him up from the hospital and buy him, too. So, baby sister, when you read this someday, know that your brother Austin already loves you and can’t wait for you to get here, too!