Crashing Tea Party


Some of you know that when I went through all of my “oh my goodness, I’m never having a baby girl” drama, there was one thing I kept saying over and over.  “I just want to have a tea party..” Honestly, who am I?  I don’t know why; but I couldn’t get over this little dream of mine. Maybe because I love tea pots so much. I bought my first adult china tea set in England when I was there for a month. I have made my sister promise to let me buy tea sets for Hadley, my niece. And my sister is a minimalist, so I know if I get Hadley too many sets, she will just throw them a way. But, I honestly don’t care. I’ve bought plastic tea sets for almost all of Austin’s little girl friends here. I know. It’s sort of pathetic. We have one more in a box in the “gift” bin and we have one set here to play with when little girls come over. But, even though I still love the tea sets. I have actually let the entire “what will I do if I never have a girl” issue go. So, along with that, I’ve pretty much stopped talking about the tea parties, too. I have never thought to ask Austin to have a tea party with me.

A few months ago, Austin came home from my mom’s house with a few pieces from one of the mini tea sets I had as a kid. I thought it was cute; but I didn’t get too excited. We laid out all the pieces and pretended to pour drinks in them. That was it. I didn’t think much of it. He is sure to get the pink and purple plastic set out any time little girls come over or when Hadley was here. I think it’s just a defense so they won’t play with his toys. But, whatever, he gets it out.  I still really wasn’t thinking about actually trying to have a tea party with him.

Until today….We’ve been fighting these nasty sinus colds, and since I had some amazing tea at a Thai restaurant last night, I thought I’d make some tea today. So, next thing I know, Austin is going crazy: “Mom! Let’s have a tea party!” I sort of laugh, and think he doesn’t really want a girly tea party. But, he’s getting into it.

I’m boiling water. He’s picking out tea bags. He’s saying things like “we are having a tea party”. He’s jumping all over the place. He says, “I want the dark blue tea pot”. Now mind you, I did refrain from getting out the real fancy china. But, in my heart, I was thinking: Really, God! This is it! Thank you! My four year old little BOY wants to have a tea party with me! Don’t make it too girly. Just get the tea out. He’s only four, you aren’t gonna teach him to be too feminine with one little party….What?! A tea party! Oh, Jesus, thank you so much! You know I just want to have a tea party! I will refrain from running upstairs and putting on a sundress…Oh, but thank you, Jesus: ‘Desire of my heart’- Yes, Lord! Oh, this is so great! I can’t believe it. Okay, stay calm, Jess. He might change his mind.

I’m not kidding this was my inner dialogue.

So, of course, I start grabbing the camera. And just so you men don’t freak out, yes there is a Bob the Builder pliers set on my table during our tea party. I did move it out of the pictures; but it was right there.  I snapped a few shots of our tea brewing.

Then the real fun came. He was excited about each step.

Getting out the milk.

Getting out the sugar bowl.

He kept asking if the tea was ready. Doing his little impatient hop on the kitchen floor.

Oh, and I wish I’d be able to capture the look on his face when the tea was finally ready. I asked him if he wanted a plastic cup or real cup. He chose a “real” cup. So, I scurried to the china cabinet and brought him back this Noah’s Ark china mug that Travis’ parents bought when they lived in England.I thought the mug was a bit more manly than a delicate tea cup, anyhow.

Everything was lined up.

He had chosen a cranberry tea.
I poured the tea.
He poured the milk.

He scooped the sugar.

He stirred it up. He slowly lifted it to his mouth and took a long slow sip. As he pulled the cup away from his lips, he was glowing. I mean it. The boy was so excited. He set the cup down. And waited for me to pour my tea. (The next photo wasn’t the real look; but it was a “Please take another picture, Austin because I missed it – look).

Then he asked if he could add some more sugar and cream. I said, sure just a little more. So, he did.

I was leaning in, about to rest my elbows on the table. I know it’s not proper; but I love the Over the Rhine song that says: “put your elbows on the table…” and the entire meaning of relaxing into amazing conversation with your head propped in your hands or your hands cradling a fabulous beverage. So, that’s where I was going in my own little world.  Long deep conversation with my four year old…

My dreams were coming true. This was amazing.

I slowly sipped my own tea. My eyes met my sons eyes as he lifted the spoon from it’s stirring posture in his tea to his lips.

Then it happened. His brow furrowed. His eyes glazed over.

“Yuck! I don’t like this tea! This is YUCK!” And before I could even respond he had pushed his chair back and disappeared into the other room yelling “No! I don’t like it!”

And then I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Shook my head at myself. I did finally convince him to come back to the table and just sit with me. I asked him if we could just have some time to talk while I drank my tea. And once he returned and found his pliers and found two crayons that could act as levers that required a lot of cranking and chugging sounds, life returned to normal.

But, for a moment…I had my tea party.

And I loved every minute of it.

I think this little boy is very good at perceiving who his very “pink” momma is because he has also asked if he can share my cake and decided that I need a princess cake. Smart boy! Very smart!


15 responses »

  1. Oh Jess! I love this!!!! You can invite me over for tea anytime! I love tea parties! When MC gets older, she’ll come for tea, b/c I don’t have any kind of teaset! 🙂

      • well, i actually really only like the loose leaf fancy tea. i never like the tea i make at home with the generic tea bags. but, it’s the entire process of the china, etc.

  2. Mason loves having tea parties with Kylie and their stuffed animals. We use lemonade or Juicy Juice instead of tea. Austin may want more tea parties if you use a drink he likes.

    • yes, good idea! i think if he asks for real tea again, we’ll just do juice for him & he can and come up w/ some alternatives for cream/sugar.

  3. I love it! I promise I won’t through out all the tea sets you get for Hadley! I’ll figure out a way to store them so they don’t drive me crazy! LOL xoxo love you!

  4. Jessica, I have to say that I LOVED THIS STORY! I don’t have any kids (boy or girl) yet, but I do resonate with you and your love of girly things…..I too will want tea parties!

    Austin was so very sweet to suggest the tea party and I love that it warmed your heart the way it did! So sweet!

    Also, soooooo sweet it was on Valentine’s Day…..I am sure that you adored that sweet [even though short] date with your son! LOVE! 🙂

    • The fun part about Austin is that he gets it about girly things. He gives me the pink crayon and says I need a princess cake. I realized this is kind of a good deal. At least I don’t have to share the pink crayon or my princess cake!

  5. Girl, if we lived in the same place, I have a 4 year old who would LOVE to tea party with you. She is as girly as they come and I often find myself wondering where she got it from. I hated dresses. 🙂

    Glad you got your tea party!!

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