Days Like This


Days like this
You look up at the sky above you
Days like this
You think about the ones who love you

Days like this
You think about the ones who went before you

Over the Rhine, Days Like This via the Long Surrendur

It’s January and cold.

We are day 7 into Awaken 21 churchwide- national fast. I’m thanking God for an amazing blessing of a warmer day today. Cold weather and I are not friends. Sort of by preference. Mainly by proxy of pain level. I hurt. I ache. My bones ache to the core. My skin burns. It’s true. I’m not making that up although saying your skin burns sounds a bit crazy. I do react to the extra hours of darkness, too.  I’m pretty sure I have SAD and would love to have one of those blue light lamps. I digress…

Today, on Sunday, my celebration Sunday of the fast, I stuff my face with a Reese’s cup, a bowl of icecream, and pancakes, the air is warm and almost 60. The sun is shining and I sat on the back porch for an hour or so with the bluebirds. Quite alone time. I feel healed of the pain…for these moments. It’s fleeing- the moments of pain. But, in this moment, I’m healed….even though I’m still battling this pain.

But, it’s the paradox that is circling my mind and heart. I’m grateful for the parallel of  a week of cold as I dig into the Word more intentionally during nursing times, during nap times, during evenings, during my mornings, and being challenged and inspired by a cycle of reading through several books that are all helping to crystalize a theme that is being tugged and  nudged and wedged into my heart. The words that keep surfacing clearly are Paradox and Infuse. Paradox of how things exist in the tension. Infuse the Gospel and the actual Word of God more deeply into my mind so it can infuse my heart.

It’s a fresh adventure into God’s grace and his truth,  joy and sorrow, accepting reality, facing limitations, remaining hopeful, and living in the paradox of this tension. Letting it be. Leaving the bows untied. Leaving the wounds to heal. Embracing the joy even when it’s haunted by the sorrow.

And so on my sunny and warm sunshine in the midst of the cold, in the midst of the digging into some challenges that seem a bit daunting. I’m grateful for days like these. When I sit and soak in the sun as it warms my bones. Smooths the aches away. And my head and heart swirl with the clouds above with all the Jesus is pouring into my heart. All that he’s hammering away at. All that is unraveling.

So, this is where I am. Swirling on a Sunday in Paradox and Infusion.

Leaving this post untied. Loosely.


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